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Source: TV.com
By:Tim Surette

Earl creator disses NBC, CBS takes a shot at NBC, Chuck DONKEHH attacks NBC, Jimmy Kimmel rips apart everyone (video inside).

Whether it's one network executive talking trash about another network, a showrunner reacting to his/her show's demise, or a company boss defending an image, upfronts are a time to listen. Here are five quotes that standout from this year's sessions.

5. "Who says we're not sexy? My wife thinks I'm sexy. No one likes hearing they're not sexy."--CBS boss Les Moonves at the CBS upfront presentation.

Hearing Moonves say the word "sexy" three times in less than 10 seconds can put someone off sex for months (kidding boss!), but the message was clear: CBS is trying to shake its image. The network has long been seen as the unhip uncle who crashes the kids' table during family holidays, but you have to give it credit for trying. With Top 40 music, some sexually-charged humor from Neil Patrick Harris, and a performance by one-time hip rapper LL Cool J (he's now in his 40s), CBS attempted to prove to advertisers that it can be... sexy. Key word: "attempted." Also heard from Moonves: "Despite what you've heard, flat is not the new up," pointing out that CBS was the only network that saw gains in viewers in certain demos.

4. "These are turbulent times, missteps are unacceptable, mistakes unforgivable. Even broadcast networks aren't safe from this downturn… enough about NBC."--Ed Westwick, as his Gossip Girl alter-ego Chuck DONKEHH, at The CW upfront.

Yikes. When The CW is taking shots at NBC, it's definitely been a bad year for The Peacock. NBC is certainly going through its hardships, and everyone is taking turns kicking it when it's down, but The CW gets bonus points for having the insult delivered by one of its most notorious characters.

3. "Thursdays go Goth…"--The CW's fall schedule press release.

Someone needs to tell The CW that going Goth isn't a compliment in the majority of the country. For a network that is supposed to be hip and down with the kids, it certainly sounds like they're trying too hard. Sure, The Vampire Diaries isn't too far from Goth and black nail polish sales are on the rise thanks to the success of Twilight, but calling Supernatural Goth? Them's fighting words!

2. "It’s hard to be too upset about being thrown off the Titanic."--My Name is Earl creator Greg Garcia on the NBC cancelling his show.

Yikes, part two. Looks like Garcia isn't planning on returning to NBC anytime soon. Garcia is a funny dude, and he doesn't disappoint in his reaction to the cancellation of his show. But likening NBC to The Titanic? That's harsh… but maybe it's because of the way it went down. "They woke me up at 7:30 to let me know," Garcia told The Los Angeles Times. "I e-mailed Jeff Zucker on Sunday, and I never got a response. But this is show business. The writing was on the wall. When you go to bed the night before the schedule is out, and no one has spoken to you, you know what’s happening. You get somewhat frustrated with how it’s being handled, but that’s the business we work in. I’ve never fooled myself that it’s a fair or friendly business." Sad.

1. "Let's get real here… These new fall shows? We're going to cancel about 90 percent of them. Possibly more."--Jimmy Kimmel at the ABC upfronts.

Everything that came out of Jimmy Kimmel's mouth at ABC's upfronts was pure comedy gold. He simultaneously poked fun at the ridiculous act of schmoozing advertisers for cash, the cutthroat business of television, and advertising in general, all while being very entertaining.